Therapy for Mr. Jay Gatsby~September 16

Date of Appointment: September 15, 2011
Subject: J. Gatsby
Therapist: Joseph
Behavior in Need of Correcting: making and distributing alcohol illegally, arrogant personality, Byronic hero traits, etc.

In my little office space I find a middle aged man, clearly rich from the clothing worn.  I guess it is time for me to begin another one of these dang appointments with dysfunctional people.  ^sigh^ here goes.

Mr. Gatsby!  How are you?
  Some small talk
So what is it you enjoy in life most, your large mansion or perhaps all the people you see?

Well truly neither.  What I want more than anything is the bright-eyed, flowery girl, Daisy Buchanan.  My life since I met her a few years back has revolved around her.  You see, old sport, I was her vehicle driver back in the day and decided I loved her more than anything and she wanted me, but I was too poor.  So she went off and got married to some rich jock, Tom.  What kind of dang plain name is that?

I would not name my boy that.  Now I have been to a few of your parties and seen much dancing and drinking, but never you.  What about that?

To be truthful, and, old sport, you recall all of these therapies are confidential of course?

Of course sir.

OK.  Well I throw all my parties based on finding Daisy.  I have spent all my days asking around my own parties to see if anyone knows her.  No luck.  I check the newspapers daily for any word of her.  None.  What can I do to find her?

Mr. Gatsby, you seem like a shy man.  Why don't you have the courage to just call her up one of these days?  If she remembers you, great and you have nothing to lose, if not there's plenty of other fish in the sea.

I suppose you're right.  Although, a way I could meet her is formulating: my neighbor, Nick, has mentioned her a few times.  Right there can be my tricky knight to recapture my lovely queen.

Well sir, it looks like you have the beginnings of a plan for getting your girl.  I am going to have to let you go because I see the makings of a plot I could be legally required to tell the authorities.  So until next time, keep working on your daily sit-ups and I will send home with you a list of prescriptions to take.

Thanks, old sport.
Gatsby exits.  Whew!  About time.  I really need to get a new job where I talk to functional members of society. This job just doesn't cut it anymore, despite the good pay.

Prescriptions for J. Gatsby:
2 shots of whiskey or vodka at each of your parties for an enjoyment of life, 2 grams of love to be taken 4 times a week, and 3 grams of self-confidence to be taken twice per week.  $1.29 enclosed ITunes gift card for purchase of Gold Digger by Kanye West, 1919 remix; in time you'll understand the song.